Daughters

Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for her,
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for her.
When they know they are your heart, and you know you are their armor,
And you will destroy anyone who will try to harm her.
"When I'm gone" Eminem

I am not a super big fan of Eminem, but my brother introduced me to this song where he is talking about his daughter...and you know what...I can relate.
If you try anything with my daughter, I won't hurt you, I won't "mess you up"...I will destroy you.
I think that is why I am taking the death of my youngest daughter so hard. I failed her. I couldn't do anything to save her. You can give me all the logical "truth" why what I am feeling isn't true, but it doesn't help.
It was my genes that killed her. How much more physically "me" can one get then your genetic make-up?
Then I am the one that made the decision to remove the life support from her. Sure, my wife and I made the decision together, but as a mom she never would have implimented it. I was the one that had to tell the nurse that, "We were ready". What a lie. How could one ever be ready for something like that?
Anyway...feeling a bit bleak...Next time I will try to be a bit more up-beat...